I am uncomfortable writing about this specific theme and that is exactly what makes me roll. I like touching the uncomfortable themes. I touch them too soon and too easily and some people reject me as a consequence. I am having BIG issues with people not wanting anything to do with me because I am a gigantic mess and I usually tell everyone right away about „the corpses hidden in my closet“.
Is is good to be rejected by others? Frankly, I don’t care. I discovered early that not everyone can be “my people”. My way of tackling hard things and staying there with the emotional bleeding (and bellowing out the pain) is not comfortable for most. Most avoid me and think that they cannot deal with me. I am okay with that.
I wonder how to deal with heartbreak and how to get over the past. I tend to hold onto past relationships and they are a source of pain for me. I like to keep people that have been important for me in my life. Moving on is hard and I deal with a lot of pain from the past.
Today I saw a video about this and the man said that we hold onto past relationships because we think that we would be happier if the people from the past would be in our lives. He said that to speed up moving on, we should remember the negatives about the people who are not in our lives anymore. This idea seems terrible to me. Why should I need to discredit people just because they are not here?
I think that the most logical consequence for me is that I see others as what they are: and see my missing them as what it is. My missing them is part of being attached. Being attached is part of my cognitive mind dwelling over them.
I read an article by Annie Palla and she says that when we are in a relationship we have the potential to transform. However transformation requires changing who we are. It means giving up our old identity and becoming someone new. I think that is why many people break up or are „on and off“. They want to remain comfortable but good relationships sometimes are the ones that trigger us and that make us grow. Annie Palla said that love requires: courage, looking at the pain and exploring the need to change for another person.