To become a better version of yourself try asking the right questions:
a) “Who do you love and why?”
These people hold important messages for us. They can teach us a lot about who we want to be.
Even in private life the people we look up to can teach us who we are meant to be.
I am drawn to people who have strong daily and weekly habits. They are writers, bloggers or podcast hosts. They are also spiritual teachers.
I used to want to buy a house but this dream is old now. I have abandoned it.
B) Another great question is „What did you love to do when you were a child?“
I used to read and to track pages of the books I was reading (each time I finished one). I used to play teacher and give gold stars to my pupils (my fur animals).
Playing with my puppy. I made the puppy pray to God.
Climbing a tree and sitting on the swing in our garden.
Rewriting the schoolwork in nice handwriting.
Writing a journal.
Copying quotes from books I was reading.
Taking a bubble bath.
Dressing in fancy dresses with pink flowers.
C. “What made you happy in the last 6 months in particular? What worked and what didn‘t?”
Writing made me happy. I started to write whatever came to my consciousness and made a habit of making daily videos as well as writing. The writing was a form of self analysis and therapy. I also found people to write to. I wrote to them to confess my struggles with addiction. My biggest problems was doing everything for others and wanting others to love me to prove to myself that I was worthy of love.
Running made me happy. I trained for and ran three marathons in two years. The process of getting fit and feeling fit was rewarding. I particularly enjoyed running races.
Strength training made me feel good. We had a private strength trainer and I enjoyed working with him.
Pilates and therapy sessions were great. Talking things out was fundamental for my emotional development. I am finally learning to accept myself.
Yoga and stretching class were an important part of my mental and physical recovery. The class and the community gave me structure and I was meeting with a community of individuals IRL. As faulty as these people were, I learnt to accept them (and myself).
Eating great food that our cook made for us was a big part of my joy. The days were structured by the expectation that at noon there is food on the table and in the evening there would be food on the table.
Going to Starbucks with my husband and my best friend and my daughter.
Journaling was great. I loved drawing patterns in my journal and learning lettering and watercoloring my journals.
I loved doing courses online. I used Skillshare and Masterclass as well as other ressources to learn something,
Listening to podcasts.
Learning to play the guitar.
E. What didn‘t work so well?
I have a disorder of needing to be liked. Seeing myself in the light of being unworthy of love. Harsh self-talk. Overspending. Low energy. Lack of sleep.